The Art of Balancing Personalities

When entering the entry level, one of the first things you must master is the art of acting as liason between the personalities around you.

Chances are: there are going to be some big ones. And it is your job to determine which of these are the biggest, the most egocentric, the most menacing... which are mostly bark and which bite... which will have you crying wolf and which will have you just plain old crying.

The art of balancing personalities may not be part of your actual job description. It's more an issue of self-preservation. So, let me put it this way: If you value your life, you will start figuring this shit out now. Seriously. What are you waiting for? Go.

 Most of your bosses will consider themselves God's gift. But notice that the word "gift" there is singular. It's mutually exclusive. They can't all be God's gift. Because I'm pretty sure God didn't give that many people as gifts, who weren't named Jesus. And I'm pretty sure that, even if he did, he didn't put them all in your office.

So, it looks like you have a problem on your hands. You must separate their versions of reality from the actual one... and quickly.

So, when it comes down to crunch time and you have 5 assignments... from 5 different bosses... who each think they are the most important... and their assignment is the most pressing...

When it's ten minutes until showtime and you get a call from a director... wanting to talk to a writer... and the writer says she has no time to talk because the show cannot write itself... and the director says, "Get her on the fucking phone"... and the writer says, "Ask him what he wants"...

You don't actually pick up the phone and say to most-probably-the-biggest-personality-you-will-ever-meet-in-the-world, "She wants to know what you want."

Because THAT is what happened to the intern sitting next to me yesterday. She is relatively new. She did not know.

Now, there are few times that you can pat yourself on the back for being an entry-level worker ant, but that was one time that I did. Because at least I've been around long enough to know that you do. not. repeat. everything. you. are. told.  Because at least I didn't have to endure the earful that she got after that comment. Because I may be entry level, but at least I'm not an intern.

And that, my friends, is a beautiful thing.